Losing My Child: A Father's Quest To Find His Son

ABSTRACT: This is a log and story about a father that has been struggling for years to be in his son’s life and the efforts by his child’s mother to make sure that he never does.

It is the hope of the father, Reginald Vaughn Finley Sr, that either one day, Gail will wake up and realize the horrors of her ways, or that one day, his son Donovan will seek him out;or that Reggie finds his son on the world-wide web and reveals to him the truth. The truth is that his father loves him dearly, and has always loved him; and that he has been on his father’s mind everyday and always will. The father hopes that his child’s mother will “wake up” before Donovan’s grandparents die; disallowing Donovan the chance to ever get to know his grandparents, nor they a chance to get to know him. If you think you can help in some way, please send emails to: reggiefinleysr@yahoo.com. For a quick summary click here.

This site was created as a personal log originally, later it was placed on the web as a backup, and now frequently updated and revised over the years to assume various readers, including Donovan. We All Love You Donovan.

My son Donovan at abt 10 (found his pic on his mother’s classmates.com page). Quite a handsome boy if I must say so myself. He looks familiar.  :) Me at 10.

Donnie, abt 3 mos.	abt. 14 Months	Abt. 1 1/2yrs

Donovan, abt. 2.10yrs, visiting me in Atlanta, GA

Finally. After 12 long years of anguish, crying, research, and perseverance we won! But at a price. We will start visitation soon and you are officially my son! Of course, I knew this over 10 years ago. Your mom and I will be working out the details soon. I love you so much!

The sad thing however is that I discovered the real reason why this was even necessary. Religion. You are free to worship as you please, I would have never encroached upon that. If your mom would have talked to me. She would have known that.

Anyway, it doesn’t matter, we still won! One thing I’m confused on though is why did it need to go to court in the first place. Your mom told the judge that visitation was fine. If visitation was fine. Why wasn’t I allowed to see you all these years?

Well, Donnie, some new lessons to learn in life.

* Life, isn’t fair.

* Just because someone believes in God, it doesn’t necessarily make them a good person.

Keep thinking for yourself and questioning. See you soon!

P.S. If you want all of this removed. When I come down to pick you up to visit, I’ll remove this  site if you want me to. This was the only way I felt to talk to you and let you know the truth behind my struggle. A lie is a lie, but the truth, will always set you free. Since we now have visitation. All of this doesn’t even matter anymore. I can now tell you the truth in person, and show you all of my efforts over the years of trying to reach you. I still have all of the envelopes I sent you!

Hugs!

I cannot believe that this time has finally come. February 8th will finally settle everything. There is no good reason why we should not have been together sooner. I am so looking forward to visiting on the weekends and bringing you to Atlanta to meet your cousins, your siblings, your uncles and aunts, grandparents. I’m sure we are going to have a long awesome talk on the way back to the ATL. I cannot wait to tell you everything about us. Wow.. you missed so much. So unfair, and we missed so much without knowing you.

Love ya son,

See you very soon!! Your Father and Loving Dad.

If you are reading this Donovan, and you decide to get on myspace, send me a friend request to: familyoriginstree or infidelguy. Just type that in myspace or my name and add me as a friend. I have so much to tell you. I’d like to start speaking with you before the court date. You shouldn’t have to feel like you are getting forced to hang out with a stranger. I hope you get on facebook or myspace soon. Search for me: Reginald Finley. You can’t miss me. Talk to you soon.

As you know Donnie, I’m in school studying to become a biology teacher. Up until recently, I was working for a company that treats people with head injuries. Teaching however is my passion so I have been looking for a company that would allow me to teach the sciences to children. I guess the Universe has heard my plea. I will start working for a company called, Big-Thinkers. http://www.big-thinkers.com They teach children about how awesome science is via demonstration techniques. Should be fun and educational for the children and myself.

Happy new year Donovan!

Your other family,

Grandma, Granddad, Daddy, Val, Reggie, Ryan, Robin, Dorian and the Twins. Hugs! See you soon.

Hey Donnie, I found another pic here that Amber just gave me. I forgot I had it. I think your mother gave it to me early on. Obviously, heh. You look almost 2 in the pic.

I hope that you are having a wonderful winter season celebration and I hope you got the letter I sent. I’m picking up Reggie and Ryan tomorrow for dinner around 4PM ET.  We all wish you could be here too. I sent you some cash earlier this month. I hope it was enough to get you a few presents. If all goes well, we’ll be seeing each other soon.

Love, Val and Dad

P.S. Val and I are now married. Val said that she’ll be proud to be your new stepmom. See you soon.

I hired someone to create a painting of all of my children. I wanted to show you how much I care about you and think about you. I was afraid that I’d never see you again, so this was my way of getting us together as a family.

Well Donnie, as you know, the court date was set; but now, your mom knows about it too! February 8th.  Finally!  You probably heard a doorbell ring or knock at the door this morning.  This was the process server to give your mom the legal documents notifying her that she has to come to court.  This has been a very long fight!  I’m am so happy.  I have been trying to get legal rights for over 12 years now.  I am your father and your daddy, and I love you very much. We are going to have some good times together Donnie I promise.  I have so much planned for us!

It’s a shame that this even had to go to court.

See you soon,

– Dad

Hey Don Don, okay you’re probably too big for Don Don. lol. Anyway.. I found some pictures of you in my photo album. I decided to go on ahead an share them with you here:

Finally, after relaxing a bit. We finally caught Donnie smiling!

I hope to see you soon!!

Hey Donnie, I am writing you a letter. Just in case you don’t get it. I have posted it here.

Hey Donnie, This is Dad.

I don’t know if you’ll get this letter either, but know that I have finally obtained your address so I am trying again. I told you that I will never give up on you, and so I haven’t.

I have been looking for you for 10 years! I’m so glad that I have found you. I am working on some things to finally have you in my life and I in yours. I am very excited that finally we can see each other. Not a day goes by that I haven’t thought of you. Not one.

Everyone that knows me knows about you. I have your picture in a frame on the wall along with your siblings. If you didn’t get the other letters I have sent, I’ll tell you again here. Your brother is Reggie Finley Sr and your sister is Ryan Taylor Finley. You have two more siblings coming as well. Tylan Finley and Tylar Finley, yep, twins!

There is so much I have to say and so much you don’t know. I have created a website for you to catch up. For years I have been searching for you and writing about the problems I have had trying to have you in my life and I in yours. The site is: http://www.weloveyoudonovan.com

Reggie and Ryan recorded a video for you. They have never met you but they miss you so much; that’s because I talk about you all of the time.

Your last name can be changed to Finley if you want. Write back or call to let me know what you want to do. Meekins is Rajon’s father’s last name. Your last name should have been either Walker or Finley.

I have attached more pictures of your family. This time I just printed them on paper because last time I sent real photos they never came back.

I cannot wait to see you Donovan. I think we’ll have tons of fun here. We are very loving and fun family. If you want to live here, that will be your mom’s decision until you are 14. After you turn 14, if you wish to live with me, you can. In the meantime, we will settle for every other weekend and some holidays.

Man, this is amazing! We are so close to seeing each other again. You probably don’t even know my name nor know what I look like. So I’m putting that in this letter too.

Always know that I have been trying hard to see you for over 10 years.

Don’t ever believe differently Donovan, weloveyoudonovan.com proves this.

I put some money in the envelope for you. Enjoy.

I love you lots Donnie,

See you soon,

Your Father and Dad,

Reginald Vaughn Finley Sr
770-33*-****

The very first step in seeing you again is underway. Actually, it’s not the first step as I have done this before. This is the second time I have sent these papers off but this time, we have an address and a few fixed laws giving us some headway. Last time I sent paperwork it was ignored and returned. This time will be more difficult as these will be papers sent through the court system. I can’t get in contact with you, so I am left with no choice.

I am your father. I want to be a part of your life. How someone can justify snatching a loving father out of your life is beyond me.

The law will prevail.

Love ya Donnie,

Dad

I found a picture of me at 3 years old. Just thought I’d share. There is definitely a family resemblance.

See you soon! Dad.

Hey Donnie! Just thought I’d jump on and say Happy Thanksgiving.  My job had some food for me but I gave it to my mother as she’s still recuperating. I’m not a big celebrator of Thanksgiving, but I will say that humans should be thankful to each other for their continued existence.  This day is a strange day for me as I understand it’s origins.  One day, we will be able to talk about history, science, theology, music, social perspectives and more. I’m looking forward to getting to know you. Many things are finally in motion. See you soon.

Love you!

Dad.

Thank goodness! Your grandmother is doing much better! You might be able to see your grandmother after all. She’s very excited that soon we’ll be reunited after 10 years.

She’s home now but on many medications. She able to walk now without much aid.

See you soon,

Dad!