Donnie, this will probably be my final post for a while as we’ll be seeing each other soon. I doubt you are even reading this; though I have learned that your mother is.
I think it’s pertinent to correct or expose some errors in reasoning or information that your mother revealed during the Bench Trail. I’m afraid she’s convinced herself these are valid defenses and is probably telling her friends, relatives and probably you these tales. Let me clear the air.
1.) “He’s an atheist.” – Yes I am. Last I looked however, that isn’t a crime. I haven’t killed anyone. It’s a philosophical and non-theological perspective that I hold… and with good reason. Worse, it’s not a good argument to keep a son from his Father just because of religious differences. Gail, I don’t have a religion to force upon Donnie. You do.
2.) “I’m worried about his motives.” – My “motives” for the last 12 years was to see my son. I truly don’t understand your problem.
3.) “He owns an atheist website.” – Well, I am an atheist that runs an atheist friendly website. I also own many other websites as well. One in particular is focused on family history and family research. Of course, you didn’t bring that up. http://www.familyoriginstree.com. Being an atheist doesn’t mean I’m a bad person. In fact, I have no problem with your beliefs as long as you’re a good person.
4.) “We have a religious conflict.” – No Gail, you have the conflict. I don’t care what you believe or what you teach him theologically; as long as he isn’t harmed by your beliefs nor he cause harm to anyone else.
5.) “I don’t have a problem with Visitation or Legitimation.” - Then why did it take this long Gail? If you really didn’t have a problem? Why didn’t you fill out the paperwork and send it back through the courts that I mailed you 10 years ago!? Why couldn’t I have seen him sooner?
6.) “The legalwork didn’t have a stamp.” – Gail, smh, the courts would have reveiwed the case and then put “stamps” on it! We still would have had to go to court about it. Apparently, you don’t know how the legal system works. I think, you just didn’t care nor wanted me to have Donovan in my life, nor I in his.
7.) “He’s over $13,000 in arrears!” Yes Gail it’s true, I am in arrears. I was unemployed when the order for child support came in. (I was unemployed for almost a year) I have been struggling to catch up ever since. Yes, I admit, I have paid infrequently and the arrears has accumulated over time. (I’m not happy about that) However, what you refuse to address is that in 2009. I paid more than what was required of me for that year. I wasn’t even sure you were getting the money until hearing your testimony. I’m glad to learn that you are. I’m sad to see that you care more about the money than Donovan and I forming a relationship. By the way, I have however paid over $27,752 in child support so far and will continue to pay as diligently as I can. I decided to go back to school for this very reason. However, and again, this is not a good reason to keep a son from his father.
8.) “I don’t agree with him having joint legal custody.” - Even after the judge informed you that there wouldn’t be a problem with me having Joint Legal Custody. You still refused. Though I could have pushed for a number of legal reasons, I agreed.
9.) “Reginald was not the man I thought he was.” – And what kind of man was that? I wasn’t abusive, I didn’t cheat on you. I was there when you needed me. You treated me badly remember? You forget the party that I mentioned in the earlier note? You didn’t even call me when it was time to give birth to Donovan, nor call me when he was born. I’m glad you later changed your thought midstream however and said, “Honestly, your honor, I don’t really know Reginald.” You are correct, you don’t, and you don’t wish to really know me. Even after 12 years of battles and frustrations with you I was still willing to try and be your friend. After your horrendous testimony; however, I see clearly now that this is impossible. Your loathe for me is deeply rooted and misplaced. If anyone should loathe anyone, I should loathe you for cutting me out of Donovan’s life.
10.) “I don’t understand how a father that says he loves his son can post stuff like that on a website.” – Like what Gail? You mean the truth? You never pointed out anything to the judge that was a lie. Possibly because you knew I’d cross-examine and reveal to the judge and your friend the truth. If your ex-husband kept your son from you, surely you’d share my pain. Surely, you’d go through any lengths to find your son and establish a relationship no matter how long it took, right?! The internet was my only way to try and reach out to you and Donovan.
11.) “He’s posting all of my personal information online. I’m afraid for my safety.” – Even the judge asked you “Like what?” You had nothing to say. I crossed and asked you have I posted your last name, your address, your number. Even you had to admit. “No”. I took great care to protect your personal information. You want a reason to hate me and now you are beginning to believe your own tales.
12.) “You knew where I lived. You sent me stuff.” – You said this after I mentioned before the court that I have been trying for 10 years to find you and Donovan. Yes, I knew where you were periodically; however, I had to track you down each time. For 3 years, I had no idea where you were. You moved at least 4 times… but I only had two addresses. I couldn’t afford an attorney in your area. And we already know what you do with legal paperwork that doesn’t have a “stamp” on it don’t we? By the time I did save up to afford an attorney, you moved again!
I then said, “So you admit that you were refusing the letters, money, and gift cards that I sent Donovan?” You said, unashamedly, “Yes.” Unfortunately, the Judge agreed with you that you didn’t have to receive my letters as I wasn’t the legitimate father. However, what’s right though? Do you not have any semblance of moral conscience?
Let’s use a small bit of logic here about your claim that I knew where you were.
a.) Custodial parent moves frequently without giving non-custodial parent any information.
b.) Non-custodial parent had to hire private detectives on 2 occasions to find custodial parent. (And you worry why I’m in arrears) Unfortunately, after I found you, you moved again.
c.) Obviously, non-custodial parent (at various times) did not know where custodial parent was.
It’s simple logic. If I knew where you were, I wouldn’t have to keep hiring people to track you down. The truth is that you were avoiding me. You just didn’t want Donovan and I to have a relationship. But don’t worry, the truth is obvious to those not blinded by your stories.
13.) “I didn’t want to have any correspondence with you until the courts got involved.” I’m paraphrasing, but let’s use more logic here. I’m surprised many of your intelligent friends haven’t hung you on this.
a.) Custodial parent wishes for non-custodial parent to go through the courts before he is allowed a relationship with his son.
b.) Non-custodial parent would need to know where custodial parents lives in order to file legal work.
c.) Custodial parent continues to move frequently
d.) Non-custodial parent can’t file any legal work through the courts due to the moving and no communication.
It could be concluded then that your statement is a farce. As you are intelligent enough to know this. Then you, by deduction, truly just don’t want me in Donovan’s life. Ipso facto.
14.) “I’m being harassed.” - Gail? By who? Not by me. I only emailed you 2 or 3 times to your classmates.com page. God doesn’t like liars Gail. Oh wait, maybe he does, “the Lord placed a lying spirit in the mouth of all these your prophets.” I Kings 22:23. Too bad you didn’t get a chance to explain to the judge this alleged harassment. I would have loved to hear that myself.
Gail, you have been exposed. Grow up. Put it to rest. I just want to see my son without your religious bigotry and mis-perceptions getting in the way. That’s all I ask. BTW, the pictures I have of you and Donovan at Rajon’s game were snapped by the Private Detective that I hired.
Donnie, I apologize if I have said anything here to upset you. I’m desperate for truth and some level of reality with your mother. Please forgive me. I just wish to see you and have you know, the real me. We won our day in court. Hopefully, all will be good soon.
